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Sunday, August 18, 2019

Winning the Hearts and Minds of the American People

In Philadelphia Americans hammered out a Constitution in a sweaty get-down-to-work building.  Note: I say “building” NOT the trumped-up monuments to Greek and Roman gods that have accreted about our Capital over time..  At some point historically we needed to say to the world--and even ourselves--that-hey, we really matter--we're a big fucking deal. So we mirrored gravitas from old world dignity--and, looking back, we way overshot the mark.

A stellar business in America is Walmart.  Many people love to shop there because it represents what Americans really like--informality, with significant need for value in purchases, a rich variety and diversity of merchandise, and--certainly not the least--a place where strangers are friendly and "already-friends" hug one another in the condiment aisle.

Of course, this fits right in with the lore of Sam Walton--- innovative and creative, considerate to employees, drove about in a humble old pick-up truck to store sites, mapped a marvel of distribution to extend markets and offer true value to people seriously in need of it.  Now in my view Walmart headquarters is in the perfect place--Bentonville, Arkansas.  Now I know nothing of the town, but in my mind I see a place surrounded by patches of green agriculture, real homeown people who appreciate what really matters in life--somewhere nestled within the generous placement of public parks is Walmart headquarters where a busy staff busts ass to solve problems and seize opportunities.

But one day something got in the headquarter's water supply and their whole staff became really weird.
They bought vast acreage in Boca Raton, Fl.  An elite team of architectural geniuses with corn-cobs up their asses thought marble classic temples in honor of foreign gods would best reveal Walmart’s own exquisite well-neigh ethereal supremacy--quite appropriate to signify to the average American where the foundational fountainhead of ultimate success really thrives.

When the edifices were completed for the new headquarters,  for discourse..deliberation stages of polished mahogany complemented vast committee rooms where problems and opportunities were intimately discussed and ultimately tabled for further consideration  and deliberation in a characteristically thorough and carefully rational manner. (A grateful nation could occasionally observe the action on cable news.)

The chief executive was now ushered about in a stretch limousine flanked by security to arrive for evening dining at his faux palace embedded within exquisite landscaping--the chief executive in his always modest way preferred to call it The People's House.

Hot Tip:  Walmart stock price will triple in 5 months. Buy Now !!!  (US Bonds another sure thing.  Invest while there're HOT !")

God Bless America !!!! (...or whatever.......)
(In the meantime....bottled water may be best...)

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