From my study I can hear occasional boisterous events
as they occur in downtown Saint Petersburg.
It can be the Honda Grand Prix race cars, fireworks on the waterfront, planes
circling in an air show over Albert Whitted Airport, or bands playing at
Progress Energy Park. Nearly all such
events are open to the public and I could attend if I so desired. Therefore even though I seldom attend, none qualify
as real “left out” events. I am
similarly content with my lack of travel.
While on a budget, I could still manage an occasional travel splurge
going to far parts of the USA or even the world. But here again, I have no burning desire to
travel great distances. I am content to
occupy my little corner of the planet. The
essential ingredient to feeling left out is a sense of deprivation. At age 67, a stunning fact is that I have
never been deprived of a single meal. Could
it be possible that I have never felt deprived?
To answer that in the affirmative would not (considering all my
advantages) be dependent upon worldly conditions, but upon spiritual conditions. A feeling of deprivation on my part would of
necessity derive from a sense of envy.
And on that score, I can in no way plead innocent. I have many times felt myself in an envious
state—whether it was yearning to be in honors at school, desiring a more
powerful position at work, or most especially as a youth envying rock stars (or
for that matter anyone who could play a guitar and thereby garner the attention
of females). I have been envious of
talent, fame, and fortune. The means to
contentment in my life has not been the result of spiritual triumph so much as
the onset of senility. I am at the age
where it becomes a little silly to envy the improbable—to envy things that are
no way in the cards. For example, for me
to envy a NFL football player would be downright loony. Even I have that much sense of propriety. At this point, my compassion (rather than gnawing
envy) goes out to the young and restless with many promises yet to keep.
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