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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Quiet and Content

All my life in social situations I have been the quiet one.  Today a group of us from work lunched at 4th Street Shrimp Store.  (There were eight of us.)  Doing most of the time, several conversations were going on at once.  Until the very end I sat quietly.  Then I had a rather intense conversation with the person sitting next to me regarding Netflix which I had just subscribed to last evening.  It developed that she too was a subscriber, so we had a subject interesting to both of us.  But again, for 95% of the time I was speechless.  This doesn’t mean that I was fearful or uncomfortable.  I just had nothing to say.  I sat quietly and listened to others and soaked in the Florida cracker atmosphere of the restaurant.  I was relaxed and enjoying the occasion.  When I was young, I felt defensive about being the quiet one.  I was and am now seldom gifted in repartee—thinking of something witty to say in return only long after the beckoning pause has passed.  Again, this caused some consternation in my youth, but now I willingly and non-defensively accept it as just being my temperament. It doesn’t mean that I am intellectually dumb or slow (just as being gregarious doesn’t mean that one is intellectually the superior).  I am now comfortable with myself and don’t feel I am in any way inferior for being the quiet one.  I am confident that I can hold my own anytime there is a subject I feel strongly about while at other times being content with being a listener.

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