(Robert Frost)
I would modify Robert Frost’s statement. I think instead “Home is the place, when you
go there, they take you in.” The
essential ingredient of family life from my point of view is acceptance. This acceptance yields over time a deepening love. Knowing that one has acceptance is a tremendously
freeing state of mind. With acceptance
assured, one no longer has to be perfect.
One is free to take risks. This
means that in the most intimate family settings one can fart proudly. In a family gathering at Thanksgiving one can
spill a glass of tea without rejection. In an extended family setting one finds
it safe to be creative (inherently a risky thing to do). This evening I watched a Nova program on the
rescue of the Hubble Space Telescope. Many
workgroups of engineers, scientists, technicians, and astronauts
participated. A member of the effort
described the work climate as an extended family. It was clear in the video how
this family atmosphere greatly facilitated the various creative tasks that had to
be done. By no means did everything work
smoothly or perfectly. But through it
all was the supportive undergirding that derives only from the acceptance found
in family. The contrasting atmosphere suggesting
unpleasant duty coupled with a judgmental attitude clearly reveals the
overwhelming preference and necessity for a safe baseline of acceptance in the
completion of challenging and critical tasks.
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