Has
God raised you from “the dead”? When and how did it happen?
(Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1203).
I
don’t think that I have ever been “dead” or desperately lost.
This is not to say that I have not been depressed from time to time
when I have felt frustrated in accomplishing God’s will. There have
been times of discouragement – even deep discouragement.
Nevertheless, I suppose there is always a danger that I could lose
faith and become “dead”. Following is a list of symptoms that would
indicate that I am descending into a state of “death”.
The
first indication of a loss of faith would be when I began to look
upon Jesus as a fool – someone who could have had a good thing, but
blew it – that he could have mastered life but for his silly
notions. That is, when I no longer believe in him. Next, I would
think and feel that there is no God – that there is no creator,
that there is no interceder, that there is nothing good, nothing with
special ethical value, nothing holy – that such notions are
foolishness. The corollary to all this is that the only game in town
revolves around me – my will, my wants, my needs.
Another
indicator would be how I look upon three essential institutions of
society – the family, the church, and government. I would look
upon all these cynically. For example the government would have no
divine purpose or role. It exits solely because of
selfish interests and ego trips of power and prestige. The church
deprived of any raison d’être would exist simply as a club of
self-righteous bigots. The family also would have no divine purpose
to nurture and cultivate love. It would merely be one expendable way
that humans find to fulfill their selfish interest and procreate
those of their breed.
As
I would see Jesus as foolish, I would see my biological father as
foolish for he strove to be a humble and good man. That he was
faithful to my mother would show weakness. Likewise my mother would
have been a fool for loving him and us children and working hard
within a context of limited means.
I
would make short shrift of the facts of any situation. My focus will
always be on me. For example, if someone were scheduled to come to my
home for an appliance repair, I would become highly incensed if they
were a little late because it simply did not matter to me that the
technician’s job was complex and sometimes required more time than
expected. Because I am completely self-centered and everything
revolves around me, not only do facts not matter, but I am highly
inpatient and chronically angry and frustrated.
I
never enter any negotiations unless I am a sure that I can come out
the clear winner. “Compromise” is a euphemism for one-sided
exploitation on my behalf. I am convinced that this is the essence of
wisdom. My focus thus is always on how I can get mine now. I would
see no logic to encouraging others to be their best. In fact, my
modus operandi would be to intimidate, discourage, use, and
disrespect others. If I cared anything at all for others, it would be
because I envied them of their toys and power or prestige.
In
short, with “death” would come a transformation of perception and
resultant behavior. To say that my priorities would change would be
an understatement. From this state, clearly I could not “save
myself” but would be beyond saving if not for amazing grace.
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