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Sunday, December 9, 2012

Thoughts at Bok Tower

Bok Tower Gardens

I have a good friend of many years, Angelo Lundy. Today we visited Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Wales, FL. After a stroll through the gardens, we sat in the restaurant there and Angelo shared with me some statements that have helped him structure situations in his journey through life. One set of statements comes from observations by Dale Carnegie in which he addresses simple facts of human relationships. When we meet others, we will (perhaps even despite ourselves) evaluate and classify them—as they will us. Therefore in attempting to relate and connect with others, four things are very important: 1) What you do; 2) How you look; 3) What you say; and 4) How you say it. People who attempt to be absolutely assessable and welcoming to all may find these observations a little arbitrary and restrictive. But I think when one honestly considers how one truly reacts when meeting others, these observations hold. In my view, these observations can be extended to not only how we connect with others, but how we connect to things or situations. For example, when I consider whether to buy a new smart phone, I ask—what does it do, how does it look, what does it say (or what does it mean to me), and how does it say it? 

Angelo next shared how he effectively approaches moving on in life. His action list includes to: 1) Set goals; 2) Make necessary adjustments; 3) Cope with aspects beyond one's control.

The beauty of these observations is that they are helpful and are readily retrievable from memory whenever meeting others on the one hand, or confronting tasks on the other.

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