When hurt as a child, did you normally run to mom, to dad, or to whom? Why? What was the best way they could help you feel better? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1029).
This
short question gets at the heart of much that is conflicted in human
experience. The matter of trust, for example, is raised when a
parent must discern if the child is truly hurt or just attempting to
manipulate parents. In cases where the child is obviously hurt (say,
after cutting their foot on glass on the beach), it is of utmost
importance that the parent genuinely feel and show a high measure of
empathy. Otherwise, the child learns a terrible lesson—no one
gives a damn about me and the pain I suffer. And due to the
principle of reciprocity, the child can grow up inflicting pain
intentionally upon others—for this is quite literally what the
parent did by not showing empathy when the child was hurt. Hurt can
also be inflicted when the child is joyful and looks to their parents
only to find indifference or hostility. It is the same lesson, just
the flip side of it.
I
was most fortunate as a child for both my parents shared in their
children's pain and joy. I came to understand that this applied not
only to me, but to people even on the other side of the world.
Therefore, it is important that children observe their parents and
other adults contributing to local and worldwide relief efforts and
exercising other expressions of compassion and empathy in joyful times and sad.
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