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Sunday, February 9, 2014

Exculpatory Irresponsibility

When in your life were you most disappointed with yourself? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1422).

This is a difficult question to answer because when I look back upon my past when I have not faced my responsibilities as a man of God I always find extenuating circumstances that yield a certain kindness to my self judgment. For example, as an undergraduate, I was less studious than was ideal. Looking at it from one point of view, it would seem evident that I was lazy or shirked responsibility. However when I look back upon it I tend to forgive myself for I was operating under intense psychological pressures. Looking back upon it, to be quite frank, I'm really amazed that I did as well as I did and held in the fight to the extent that I did. Ironically, one of my key failures at the time as I perceive it now was that I would not – in one sense of the word – sin. In other words I had opportunities to have sexual relations with the opposite sex but was compelled not to do so. In some sense, I think of this as a failure even though it would have been fornication from my point of view at the time. I only ask for forgiveness for sins of omission and commission at all times in my life and I feel certain that God forgives me because of my inherent human limitations to always see clearly the good.

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