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Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Importance of Self-Affirmation

Today I saw the above quote on the desktop of a computer screen while working at a recreation center. The computer user has had a tough go of late. The quotation immediately spoke to my heart. Her life recently has not been the “princess” life, but one full of tough challenges. It seems to me the approach and attitude suggested by this quotation is one that could beneficially apply to most of us—certainly it does to me.

I might not be someone's first choice, but I am a great choice. Has anyone not been sharply hurt by being a second, third, or tenth choice on the playground, in the classroom, at work, or on the street—or not chosen at all? The pain of rejection is very deep and real. It is good to remember that no matter who finally chose us and at what later stage we were at last chosen, we nevertheless are a great choice—in many respects the best choice since we have endured and prevailed over adversity and have developed the resiliency (and compassion) of the outcast and rejected.

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. The acceptance of one's self brings an inner contentment and peace. The identity crisis spawn from unduly trying to meet the, more often than not, silly expectations of the world is circumvented by solid knowledge of and confident trust in oneself.

I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I'm proud of who I am today. This follows from the previous affirmation. It is tremendously freeing to accept ownership of missteps in the past while not letting oneself be defined by them (being enslaved by them) in the present or future. The longer I live the more skeptical I become of those making a show of unrelieved, seamless perfection.

I may not be perfect, but I don't need to be. I am the way God made me. The emphasis here is on the second sentence. It says, in effect, I am acceptable to God, my creator, who knows me completely—unlike anyone else. He knows I am not perfect, but loves me anyway (and favors me with his grace). This frees me to live and to achieve without fear of the inevitable—frequent surfacings of my imperfections.

Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away! This last statement is essential. It signals freedom from indenture to the opinions of others. I am free to walk away—and, likewise, you are free to walk away from me. Neither of us need suffer from codependency [a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); broadly : dependence on the needs of or control by another (Merriam-Webster's)]. Most typically, this codependency arises from an addictive need of one person to control another. Being free to walk away (or allow others to walk away) is a key benefit flowing from a sense of self-worth.

One of the best inspirational videos ever - Susan Boyle - Britains Got Talent 2009

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