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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Kathy and Me

When did you know that the person that you married was “the one”? What tipped you off? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1353).

I first met Kathy in Sunday school—the Good Shepard class. The class sat around a table and used the Upper Room as the source of our lessons. There was a discussion of each lesson led by a great facilitator and teacher, Mitch Marsh. The class discussions of a meditation could be extensive, with maybe only one or two meditations required to fill the hour. I got to know Kathy during these discussions. I saw here as bright, kind, compassionate, humble, and filled with self-awareness—she knew who she was and was aware of her determinant convictions. I can’t remember when I was not impressed by her. In other words, at the first class I was drawn to her and she later confided that she was drawn to me. She said she liked when our legs touched under the table. I, being dense, was not even aware of this at the time.

It is a great feeling when one feels a deep affinity with someone. The “family feeling” develops almost immediately and time seems not to matter—I have known you for an hour…or has it been forever? You are not outside the “family circle” but within it. All the rest, as the saying goes, is mere detail…the marriage day, for example, a stamp upon fait accompli.

My brother Bob and wife Linda (both ministers) led the wedding ceremony. Bob got a kick out of my interest when discussing the service when exactly I could kiss the bride. This too was merely a formality for the vitality of our love had already found expression many times.

Kathy passed away last November. During the memorial service I read the following poem:

Assurance of Authenticity

Kathy you made my days
By standing humble and true,
Your steady strength was incredible
Your major impact you.

I regret when I have reproached you
For finding me--as you would say--”sweet”,
For now I see what sweetness is
It is what all should be—

It is your hopeful smile,
Your winning generosity,
Your simple grasp of facts
Filled with humility.

It is your kind insistence
That no worthwhile effort is void;
It is your reliable innocence
Saving me from despair;
It is your steady focus when at work or play
Trusting that passion's disciplines
Will reap abundant things.

My dearest you have gifted me --when all is said and done --
With love's powerful insights,
With childlike faith,
The assurance of authenticity.

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