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| July 20, 1969 Neil Armstrong takes first step on the moon |
The
most significant projects are often viewable as milestones. In my
lifetime perhaps the most satisfying national project accomplished
was landing a manned spacecraft on the moon. This signalled that in
the future humanity would be open to further serious high-tech space
exploration. In my personal life the most significant project also
entailed a look forward. It would not be all joy in accomplishing it,
however, for it presented real challenges. Nevertheless, it was clear
that if I did not move forward with this project, it would represent
a significant failure in my life. It would mean that I had
encountered a clear and beckoning pathway to further maturity and
happiness and had failed to accept the challenge. But it was also
clear there would be severe stresses involved as the project
progressed. It is bizarrely true that we can come to embrace our
failures and unhappiness. I would have to face some ingrained
behaviors and long-held defenses.
Some
years ago in my 60s, I fell in love with Kathy, the ideal woman for
me. She was gracious, kind, and considerate. We extensively shared
religious convictions and an overall outlook towards life. Being
single and lonely, there had been a droning chord of unhappiness in
my life. Due to this plight, I had established cherished defenses.
The most significant of these was to hold fast to relics representing
past stages of my life. For example, a back bedroom functioned solely
as a cluttered storehouse for old books and college papers. They
surrounded the walls, covered the floor, and filled the closet.
Somehow I thought that by holding close the past, I could prevent the
passage of time. For me, ironically, the fountain of youth had become
a littered stack of dusty, dry bones. To move forward it became clear
that much of this mess had to go. It took about a month to clear the
room. A lot of "little funerals" were duly observed before
interring the relics in the trash. Yet, in the end, it was a very
satisfying experience for it accepted reality and looked forward to a
promising future. It represented liberation and the successful meeting of an urgent maturity milestone.
