In
the quest for good manners, I am not interested in the correct way to
hold a tea cup. I am not interested in formalism here anymore than I
am in speech elocution. As a good speech ultimately derives from an
earnest desire to connect and communicate, good manners seek to
communicate respect and goodwill to others. Good manners have
nothing to do with “political correctness” in which censorship
and hypocrisy are substituted for simplicity and truth. Good manners
allow one to disagree without being sarcastic and vindictive. Good
manners are not a cold dress code one puts on, but courteous
expression in intimate fidelity with one’s ethical convictions.
They are not laced with profanity and ad hominem substitutes for
humble, simple and direct communication. Any arguments buttressed
with abusive pejoratives are suspect from the get-go—so essentially
weak as to be desperately in need of tag-team relief from verbal
thugs.
Now
I do not write the above as someone not needing to heed my own
advice. Like others I have substituted 4-letter bravado for a sweet
spirit and humble examination. When the fall back force of one’s
argument is bluster and obscene fulmination, one deserves to lose.
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