On a scale of 1-10, what marks would you give yourself in handling criticism? What marks would others give you? What would you like to differently about this, if anything? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p. 374).
In
criticism context matters. We are entering what will be a hotly
contested political race for President. We know only too well what
to expect—many months of shrill, unfair, and meanspirited highly
public and bombastic boilerplate criticism from both sides.
Sometimes it's said that politicians must have thick skins. Not
really, for the context of the race makes it clear that excessiveness
is pro
forma
and
routine.
There is a genuine sense in which criticism in this context is
widely awaited and severe withdrawal symptoms would occur should
complete tranquility occur.
Now,
let us consider a fantasy. During the campaign, somehow a miracle
occurs and both candidates and their immediate families join a secret
fishing trip together on a secluded lake nestled among snow-capped
mountains. It is certain that the public will never know about the
outing shared by the candidates and their families. In this
situation a very different context exists. My thinking is that
meanspirited attacks here would be inappropriate and would seriously
get under the skin of either candidate. As the context of the public
campaign assumes unfairness, strife, and ill-will, the context of the
fishing trip assumes camaraderie and all-around goodwill. Here
meanspirited attacks would certainly arouse feelings of betrayal,
disgust, and anger.
Thus,
no one should ever feel they could never be a politician due to
incessant public criticism and attacks. One simply has to appreciate
the unique context of politics and understand it has little in common
with those occasions when a fellow team member, family member, or
close associate levels personal criticism at us in a more or less
intimate setting. In this context, like our candidates on the
fishing trip, criticism certainly stings.
It
is well-disposed criticism that deserves further thought. Criticism
offered from an attitude of goodwill, love, and helpfulness; while
not entirely pleasant, assures us that the critic is not judgmentally
arrogant or treacherous. He is not intending to exclude us, but to
include us. One good technique I once learned in a speech class is
that when finding you must critique another, always mention positives
and negatives—not just the negatives. And in response to criticism
of this sort, be generous as well. Look upon the critic not as an
enemy but as a friend. Assume that he is offering up criticism using
the his best judgment—using his best lights for guidance.
Sincerely appreciate his concern and courage to speak out, offering
him a compliment if it seems right. For, after all, a critic of this
sort is paying you a high compliment by being honest and forthright.
