Father’s Day Warrant

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Today I received a two-page WARRANT FOR ARREST for Father’s Day from Alton.  I responded to him as follows:   

There is a problem.  Yeah, I maybe stole your heart, feelings, and affection in 1988—but you also stole mine.  So it’s more like a trade than theft.  So unless you want me to get a warrant put out on you in return, maybe we should just call it even.  Actually, I really enjoyed your WARRANT FOR ARREST and NATURE OF THE OFFENSE.  It was very creative and it brought tears to my eyes—all the thought and effort you put into it.  I really appreciate this, from the depth of my heart.  (View Warrant)  As for my punishment “to spend the rest of [my] life in the maximum security with your only son until the Lord call you both back home” let me say I am now with you in mind and spirit & will stay with you for the duration.  You have made my Father’s Day with your Warrant.  I did a little research into the Florida Statute that you mentioned.  Here is the result:  Florida Statute § 19.8900 reads as follows: “Theft of the heart will be viewed as a felony offense punishable by life in prison without parole.  The sole defense for this crime will be mutuality in thievery—in which case since both hearts were stolen mutually; it will thereby be viewed as a legal and lawful exchange for mutual benefit.  If a heart so exchanged is ever abused by either party, punishment will be a life devoid of human compassion or happiness—an exile into the wasteland of the heartless.”

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