Today in Sunday School

A foul mood is spreading across our society and the world these days. Dialogue seems to have been replaced by name-calling that is little related to truth. Broadcasters fill the air with divisive labels designed to wound. Sometimes we see the same malice in the arena of faith and religion. This kind of talk reduces difficult issues to slogans and stops us from seeing others as worthwhile individuals. However, each of us has the choice and ability to move beyond labels and categories. (F. Richard Garland, “Labels and Categories” The Upper Room May 16, 2012).


Taxonomy: The science of finding, describing, classifying and naming organisms (Wiktionary).

We are faced with a dilemma – the powerful tool of categorization can greatly assist in promoting understanding; however, it can also function to close off thought. It can be based on careful, painstaking objectivity; or it can be based on fast and loose subjective prejudices. It can arise from knowledge, or it can arise from ignorance. Today's Sunday school lesson focused on the fast and loose variety of labeling and categorization. This variety 1) brings a cheap and unearned sense of closure, 2) functions to allay deep-seated anxieties with a Band-Aid (leaving one prone to defensiveness), 3) places one in a family of like-minded true believers, 4) sets up a factotum authority custom-designed to reinforce prejudices based often on ill-will and arrogance, 5) and offers perverse and evil grace. Unlike classification buttressed by objective evidence established through a careful process that can be replicated, we are here asked to kowtow to self-appointed, volatile and infallible authority. The obvious question is: how can we extract ourselves from this vicious process? The answer lies in Scripture: (Deuteronomy 30:19 -NIV) This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. However tempted to take the broad and easy path – essentially based on selfishness and sloth; we must remember at base vigilante, rogue characterization embodies death itself.

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The Most Friendly Theater for Meaning

For all who live fairly humble, nondescript lives, why should we think our life still counts for something? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.575).

This is a question that my dog Stanley never agonized over. He was a terrier and had much spunk and energy. As far as I know he never once experienced angst over questions of being. This I think goes as well for all animals – other than man. (On the other hand, I have seen abused animals – such as dogs – appear sadly and chronically intimidated.) So today's question is peculiarly a human question. Only man as a rule seems ready to doubt his value – his self-worth – based upon humble external circumstances. I think there is a little of the messiah complex in each of us – in some secret, hidden space deep within, we would like to save humanity in some wide, sweeping way. It is not simply the immature that can shed a tear when viewing Superman saving the day and thus fulfilling his heroic role. Since we can have such free-flowing messianic fantasies, we irrationally undergo self-condemnation when confronted with the limitations of ourselves and the restrictions of reality. To put it baldly, if I cannot be Superman, then my life doesn't really count for anything. I have in time come to appreciate man's drive for meaning – a need for meaning that is ironically most deeply satisfied not by broad sweeping contributions, but by very specific in-depth relationships. A sense of fulfillment that comes not by excelling in the impossible, but by effectively accomplishing the doable. The most friendly theater for meaning proves to be the humble and nondescript.

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The Need for Work & Fun

Can you live "one day at a time"? Does the past drag you down, or the future worry you? If expectations and obligations set your agenda, what do you have to give up to truly experience the present moment? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p. 573).

When I was a kid I much enjoyed the story about the grasshopper and the ants. I even had a phonograph record with a catchy tune relating the wisdom of the ants who stored up food for the winter compared to the shortsighted action of the grasshopper who did not. All my life I have much identified with the ants and their recognized need to prepare for the future. Of course, at this time of my life the future is largely here. There is a sense in which the rest of my life will depend upon the resources I have already stored up. For me economically this is largely represented by a pension and social security. Since there is no need for me to get further formal education in preparing for the future, I now much more resemble the grasshopper in enjoying the intellectual feast of the present. Time has now shifted my perception to align more with that of the grasshopper. I want to enjoy each day to the fullest and to appreciate the precious sense in which my time left on earth is relatively short, hence the value of every moment. I think the wisdom of the grasshopper and ants story is that the ants (with their preoccupation with the future and the need to work) and the grasshopper (with his appreciation of fun) both have their place in the story of life.

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The Real Source of a Winning Attitude

Are you active in any sports or other competition? Do you win more than you lose? Would you keep playing if you always lost? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.572).

Loving parents strive to instill a winning attitude and spirit in their children. It is inconceivable that a loving parent would wish to instill the opposite – a losing attitude. That is almost the definition of love – to make a loved one not only feel like but be a winner. We want to build up the ones we love, not tear them down. Lucky is the person who has been so raised in childhood that he develops this spirit. It is highly important that one be so constituted that they refuse to let themselves be defined by the occasional failure or setback. Optimally, a failure or setback is simply a stimulus to move forward. This stance relies on a deep indelible belief that failure is not in any way characteristic of me. From whence does this belief arise.

It is completely possible for parents to raise their children in a constructive way without also teaching that cutthroat competition is necessary to establish a winning spirit. It would be lunacy for parents to decide that constant and strident competition between siblings would result in a positive, flourishing atmosphere. In fact we come upon a striking conclusion – a winning spirit does not depend upon competition at all, but upon being the undeserving recipient of generosity and kindness. It is surely shortsighted and wrong-headed for people so luckily raised to conclude that they alone are responsible through wars of competition for developing a triumphant winning spirit. In fact they owe their winning attitude to the very opposite – an atmosphere of love and generosity in which they were made to feel special just for who they are quite apart from any concept of just deserts. The believe that competition is the source of a winning attitude is ill-founded.

Competition in biology, ecology and sociology is a contest between organisms, animals, individuals, groups, etc. for territory, a niche, or a location of resources, for resources and goods, for prestige, recognition and awards, for mates and group or social status, for leadership; it is the opposite of cooperation. It arises whenever at least two parties strive for a goal which cannot be shared or which is desired individually but not in sharing and cooperation. Competition occurs naturally between living organisms which co-exist in the same environment. For example, animals compete over water supplies, food, mates, and other biological resources. Humans compete usually for food and mates, though when these needs are met deep rivalries often arise over the pursuit of wealth, prestige, and fame. Competition is also a major tenet in market economy and business is often associated with competition as most companies are in competition with at least one other firm over the same group of customers, and also competition inside a company is usually stimulated for meeting and reaching higher quality of services or products that the company produce or develop.

Cooperation or co-operation is the process of working or acting together. In its simplest form it involves things working in harmony, side by side, while in its more complicated forms, it can involve something as complex as the inner workings of a human being or even the social patterns of a nation. It is the alternative to working separately in competition. Cooperation can also be accomplished by computers, which can handle shared resources simultaneously, while sharing processor time.

Winner: Champion, the victor in a challenge or contest.

Loser: A person who fails to win.

[Definitions from: Wikipedia]

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When Losing is Winning

... Is surrender ever honorable? Is resistance always noble? In what way do you need to surrender? To keep fighting? How do you know when to do what? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.573).

These are perhaps the most persistence and important questions that we face. We are in a dilemma – if we too readily accept reality as unchangeable, progress would never be made. On the other hand, we must stand ready to accept reality when it cannot be changed. The better part of wisdom is knowing when to fight a certain battle and when to surrender in that battle so that greater and more important goals can be defined and won – so that new horizons can be set and new efforts enlisted. A large part of our sense of meaning and our self-esteem comes from working towards and fulfilling unrealized goals from whence come a sense of hope – surely an essential form of deep and abiding human pleasure. But coming to grips with reality is another source of pleasure. For example, identifying natural laws that cannot be changed paradoxically empowers us since we are better able to cope and even exploit nature. So in a real sense, even when we are confronted with the inevitable and the unsurmountable, we come out winners. To come face-to-face with limitations opens up vast horizons and new possibilities. Knowing one's limitations makes one appreciably stronger.

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The Handy Tool of Lying

Who or what makes a lie okay? Conversely, do you always have to tell everybody anything they ask? Can you protect yourself by letting people be misled? What examples come to mind.... (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.530).

When I was an undergraduate I read a small book Science and Human Values by J. Bronowski. The book has three chapters: 1) The Creative Mind; 2) The Habit of Truth; 3) The Sense of Human Dignity. I have to admit I have forgotten most of the book. But the chapter headings, especially that of chapter 2, stand out in my memory. Clearly, the habit of truth is an essential contributor to the progress of humanity in discerning facts and identifying “that which is so, regardless of what we may say about it.” Inevitably, credibility and trust are fatally damaged by the discovery of self-serving and expedient lies. This alone should make us very reluctant to develop a habit of lying.

But it is likewise clear that lying is sometimes justifiable. Like Huck Finn protecting Jim from the hands of the slave hunters, sometimes lying is the only decent thing to do. A great difficulty arises, however. For once we learn that lying can get us out of tight spots, there is a great temptation to rely on the practice habitually. Once we have found that lying is a handy and useful tool, we develop a bias to use it.

So when we lie, it should clearly be an exception and not the rule. A lie must only be told when it confirms a greater truth – as in the greater truth of Huck's friendship and loyalty to Jim contrasted with the slave hunters' evil intent. But even so, we should be aware of the human weakness that so readily can rationalize away any felt moral difficulties. Lying and rationalization are very best friends and in combination easily become addictive.

It is a plain fact that lying is not only verbal, but also behavioral. I can lie in my demeanor and phony body language and facial expressions. I also can lie through indirection and the imposition of an essentially insincere tone. How often, I wonder, has malevolence been cloaked in seeming compassion? There can even be conventions of lying as in the common assumption that resumes habitually stretch the truth and that speeches purportedly given by the speaker are actually ghost written. All of this more sophisticated lying simply suggests that when a parent skewers a six-year-old for a verbal untruth, that parent should humbly consider the complete spectrum of their own behavior.

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Towards Effective Criticism

Do you get defensive easily? When do you take off your armor? What is your prized defense mechanism? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p. 526).

I become defensive and get easily offended when I sense the following transaction in process—I, viewed as an immature child, am the subject of scolding by an all-wise and all-knowing parent. And it seems this transaction is often in play when I am the subject of criticism. I then burn in resentment. Criticism that I can handle well always comes prefaced by qualifiers. For example, the person criticizing my behavior can say one of the following: “It's easy to draw that conclusion, but....” “A lot of people make that mistake, but....” “I've often done the same, but....” “I can see how you would draw that conclusion, but....” The effect of these statements is to ameliorate the offensive suggestion that my error was really due to gross immaturity and intentional irresponsibility – that the transaction in process is that of a perfect superior correcting a flawed inferior.

My prized defense mechanism when I know I have made a blunder is to take the offensive; that is, "The best defense is a good offense." If I take the initiative in revealing a blunder, then that shows I have perception and judgment – no one had to point out my blunder for me; it gives me a sense of being in control and independence – I am not being controlled by others; I have mastery over the tone of revelation – a positive one, not a negative tone of reprimand – I can use self-deprecating humor and a measure of winsome humility; despite the blunder, I nevertheless have insight and self-knowledge. In short, it is a far better situation to proactively confess one's own mistakes and not to have them subjected to the adverse scrutiny of others.

This has implications for my behavior as well when it's my turn to point out the foibles of others. I can use one of the qualifiers mentioned above – implying equality and not superiority. I stand ready to appreciate the self-deprecating humor of others when they admit one of their mistakes. This often invites reflection on my part that (along with many others) I have done similar things—or worse; and it arouses my appreciation that I am being given a model of how admission of blunders is done gracefully, humbly, and even humorously. Perhaps I can avoid like mistakes in the future, or at least upon doing them approached them in like manner. It is a joyful and encouraging situation when one is witness to others' self-knowledge. Whenever possible it is far preferable to allow room for self-criticism and self-knowledge and not to eagerly engage in unsolicited judgment and criticism. Inevitably such negative criticism suggests a stance of superiority and a measure of false pride, lack of sensitivity, and self-righteousness. The most effective criticism is almost always self-criticism. The most admirable skill is the adept ability to help this happen.

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