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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

From the Throes of Disappointment

This evening I was to take Kunte to a Christmas party.  The party was to begin at 6 pm.  I arrived at Kunte’s house late due to my doctor’s appointment.  Because the doctor’s office was overcrowded, my 4 o’clock appointment was delayed and I did not get out of the office until 5:40.  I arrived at Kunte’s house about 10 till 6.  Kunte came to the car all dressed up and carrying a beautifully wrapped Christmas present that was to be submitted at the party for a gift exchange.  He was in high spirits.  He dug in his pockets and brought out the address where the party would be held.  It turned out to be an address in Seminole with a named rather than numbered street.  I knew immediately that since it was in Seminole, it would take about 45 minutes of travel time.  Since I was completely unfamiliar with Seminole, I quickly added the house located on Kay Court into my GPS.  The GPS did not recognize the address.  We headed south for my house about 15 minutes away to go on my computer to look up and print out directions and a map.  It was getting dark, so I did not favor the prospect of trying to follow written directions in a strange location.  We arrived at my house and began to search for the address.  My internet connection was not working properly, so it took about 30 minutes to finally print out a map, but the written directions did not following the route located on the map.  I tried two more map sites, but because of the bad connection, neither worked.  At this point I told Kunte that I had decided not to try to make the trip for by the time we could possibly get there, the party would be in its eclipse.  Kunte became extremely frustrated and disappointed.  Something he had dearly set his heart on and carefully prepared for would not be realized or enjoyed.  He pathetically asked what he would do with the beautiful present.

On our way back to his house, he phoned his counselor and communicated his deep frustration and disappointment. On my way back home, he phoned me and continued to express his sadness and regret.  It was clear to me that this would be an instance of distress that only time could heal.  The intellectual and emotional regret must run its course and be totally spent. Indeed, his attempts to reach out and express his feelings were part of the process.   I thought that perhaps later in the evening, Kunte may garner enough detachment to become resigned to expectations and plans gone awry.  New plans and anticipations, and old resurrected ones, could then revive his spirits.  The bad experience of despair and disappointment then could be relegated to a chapter that has passed.  In this new phase, hurts would be seen as past hurts; and even would be looked back upon with some fondness as they helped contribute to a sense of a strong and prevailing character that can take hits and yet survive.  Kunte is an invaluable and indispensible friend gifting me with his indomitable spirit; never letting pain or disappointments triumph in his life.

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