Nice Fighters

Urijah Faber

Can you succeed by being nice in a "dog-eat-dog" world? Do you have to be violent to be safe? Explain. (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.519).

This question requires that two things be explored – first, what it meant by "nice", and, second, the nature of the world. To what extent is the world “dog-eat-dog?”

I think one reason that we like war movies is that war in many ways is allegorical for life. I would like to raise my son to be nice. That is, I want him to learn consideration, empathy, and compassion. But, nevertheless, I would not fully restrict him from watching war movies. This is because in my view it is well to see displayed raw courage in battle. Learning to fight begins with oneself. When tempted to be lax in self-discipline, we need to fight this tendency towards shiftlessness and spinelessness. When we encounter the inevitable difficulties involved in daily living, we need to be ardent fighters to overcome adversity. So, being a fighter begins with oneself. But it doesn't end there. I like to think as a teen my son would have the stamina to resist the pressures of conformity that run counter to good judgment. A "nice" person—when that means never risking the disapproval of others or ruffling the feathers of friends—is a path that will sooner or later lead to disaster. So in addition to fighting unattractive inner traits, we also must learn to resist unwise influence and conformity. In short, a nice person as I have defined it (considerate, empathetic, and compassionate) nevertheless must be a fighter—not excluding the possibility that they must sometimes offend and occasionally flat-out arouse disgust in their companions. Being nice in these circumstances entails putting the best interest of yourself and of your contrary friends ahead of conformism and phony congeniality. It calls for strength and the will to fight.

The next thing to consider is the nature of the world. In actuality to what extent is it starkly "dog-eat-dog?" This phrase means that people habitually act selfishly with no thought of others. Of course, we can readily identify such situations. For example, a drug dealer naturally wants to carry a weapon. This is especially so if the dealer has a reputation for being "nice". For even if the dealer is truly nice in many ways, on the drug scene niceness can be readily construed by others in the trade as being weak and even cowardly – someone that invites being walked over, even killed. Outside of these situations which often skirt the law, we typically find that dog-eat-dog behavior is markedly counterproductive. For example, if I find a business has an ethos of consummate self-centeredness, dishonesty, and selfishness, I will readily bypassed them and give my business to their more customer considerate competition.

Being nice (considerate, empathetic, and compassionate) means that one seeks to establish warm relationships with others. This can be distinguished from a "civil" relationship that is coldly counterfeit. If I approach someone and they treat me "civilly" and not warmly as a friend, I implicitly can sense an aloofness—evidence that they have judged me and hold me as inferior to themselves. So being nice and civil are two strikingly different forms of behavior.

While being nice often comes with some cost, it can also be redemptive and rewarding in the long run. When undergirded by a fighter's strength, it builds self-respect immediately and, over time, respect in others.

Print Page

Persistence, Creativity, and Hope

Is the security of your country in "silver and gold"? Stones and timber? Undercover dealings? Where does real security lie? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.518).

Essential qualities required for the well-being of any country or, for that matter, completion of any tasks however large or small are persistence and creativity. Since it is so common for first attempts to be less than ideally successful, persistence in the face of difficulties is simply a necessity. “To persist” defined: 1) To be obstinately repetitious, insistent, or tenacious. 2)To hold firmly and steadfastly to a purpose, state, or undertaking despite obstacles, warnings, or setbacks. (American Heritage Dictionary). Persistence ensures that one patiently stays on the scene long enough to realize success. But repetition alone may not suffice. Hence, the need for creativity.

Creativity: Ability to produce something new through imaginative skill, whether a new solution to a problem, a new method or device, or a new artistic object or form. The term generally refers to a richness of ideas and originality of thinking. Psychological studies of highly creative people have shown that many have a strong interest in apparent disorder, contradiction, and imbalance, which seem to be perceived as challenges. Such individuals may possess an exceptionally deep, broad, and flexible awareness of themselves. Studies also show that intelligence has little correlation with creativity; thus, a highly intelligent person may not be very creative. (Britannica Concise Encyclopedia).

The related traits of persistence and creativity when combined provide the essential means leading to effectiveness. Both traits are naturally allied with hope which concurrently reinforces each of them. Without persistence, creativity, and hope no other assets alone – whether intelligence or wealth – are sufficient guarantors of success.

Print Page

Overcoming Intimidation

When I review my life I find many failures and a good number of successes. But of course my biggest regrets lie with the failures. When I analyze the circumstances of failure I find one common thread – mind-blowing intimidation. I have come to view submission to intimidation as no less than a major sin. Intimidation paralyzes action and thought. Intimidation can arise from people, situations, or complex subjects. As I mentioned the other day, I have lately watched Cosmos with Carl Sagan as presenter. Today I watched episode nine which was on the life-cycle of stars. This surely is an intimidating subject for anyone (ridiculously so for laymen). But as a human being I am to do more than freeze under a duress of fear precipitated by complex subjects. I am to keep an open mind and understand to the best of my ability. This ability obviously will be less for me than for many others. But I feel it is a sin for me to turn away from the subject out of fear and discouragement. I am to understand to the extent that I can, to keep an open mind, and to entertain new concepts and ideas. I must avoid intimidation and the resultant mind paralysis. What goes for the birth of stars goes for all other subjects. And not only subjects, but people (and the status they represent), and situations however dicey. My role as a human being is always to use my mind and the leadings of the inner voice to remain steady and to do what is right. I have come to feel that "fight or flight" is not an acceptable option for me. Perhaps it has something to do with my time of life. To fly now so I can live to fight another day is really not much of an option for someone in the latter part of life. I must stand, say, and do what's right. I must of necessity overcome the sin of submission to intimidation.

We are likely facing the makings of intimidating circumstances at home and abroad. I'm especially concerned with the United States and its proven tendency to acquiesce to various addictions – one principally being greed. In the name of entitlement on the one hand and of free enterprise on the other we relinquish our ethical moorings. All sorts and varieties of indisputable authorities are presented to show how greed is the only option. Our patriotism, indeed our religion, is called into question if we hesitate or disagree.

It is in this light that I contemplate future trials. Under this cultural pressure the divisions that separate Muslims, Jews, and Christians will prove frivolous. The one thing that unites us is faith. We cannot and will not shake the abiding belief that each one of us has a purpose, and that humanity has a purpose, and indeed that the world and the cosmos have a purpose. And if there is action which helps fulfill this purpose, there is action that confounds it. We cannot believe that the creation exists by pure chance and accident. We cannot believe that life is simply a game won by those employing the most adept "spin doctor". We believe in right paths to affirm and wrong directions to eschew. While there is often joy and celebration in life, it nevertheless rests upon deadly serious and fundamental purposes. This unites us in a common faith. The challenges to our faith are great; we must stand firm and not yield to intimidation—however massive, impressive, or bullying the spinners of dead-end fantasies.

Print Page

Question for the Wisest Person in the World

Carnac the Magnificent

What one question would you ask the wisest person in the world? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.509).

On considering this question I have made several false starts. For example, I have asked what are the best ways to happiness or what are the surest ways to happiness? These questions won't do for obvious reasons for happiness can derive from ignorant and destructive ends. I have finally decided that the one question I would ask the wisest person in the world is "What are the best ways to nurture abundant life?” This question has wide applicability. It can refer to the best ways to raise children, or the best ways to grow throughout one's adult years, or it can refer to the best ways to craft a society so that it will flourish. It is a loaded question for the meaning of "abundant life" is reliant upon one's value system. Thus, by asking this question, we will learn a lot about the value structures of the wisest person in the world. Of course, in part I anticipate answers. I assume that a society experiencing "abundant life" is flourishing not only materialistically but also spiritually – that it has found the best ways to structure the economy, the best ways to explore and adapt to nature, the best ways to nurture productivity and happiness for all of its citizens, the best ways to educate, the best ways to ensure public health, the best ways to structure institutions, the best ways to nurture children and adults, the best ways to manage resources, the best ways to motivate and inspire, the best ways to overcome the destructive and addictive tendencies inherent in human nature. I would assume that such a society could devote its resources largely to creative and productive ends. In other words, in answer to this question the wisest person in the world could be constrained to respond in a lengthy treatise that could greatly enlighten the world. This response no doubt would be highly controversial, endlessly disputed and debated. This would be due in large part to the surfeit of persons humbly considering themselves to be “the wisest person in the world.”

Print Page

Cleansing Outings

Do you feel a need to the "cleansed" in any way? How will you go about this? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, p.502).

The felt need for "cleansing" is a deep and abiding need in humanity. Much is done from this motivation. What is essentially involved in "cleansing"? Let us first look at a few examples of typical behaviors done to realize a sense "cleansing".

Just this week Kathy and I have started bicycle riding to the Bay. For me this is a chance to make a statement – when I come home in the evening from work I will no longer be a couch potato. On arriving home rather than looking at four walls, I will get out, get some exercise, feel the wind in my face, and enjoy the beauty of our neighborhood. Almost as important as the experience itself is the mental attitude involved. It is a "take charge" attitude. It is the sense that I can make a difference beginning with my own life. It's a refreshing sense of control in which I have the power to "turn over a new leaf." Most fundamentally it is also realization that I have some control over my perception. The way I see things and the experiences I have are at least partially up to me.

This sense of assertion, affirmation, and control can be found in shopping, going on vacation, getting married, moving on to another agenda item, and going to church on Sunday. Even though in church emphasis is placed on God's capacity to cleanse, nevertheless the fact that I am there listening to music and an inspirational message testifies to the fact that I have some control over the theater of perception—some control over fresh starts and reboots. "Recharging my batteries" is not simply passive but also dependent upon my actions.

In this light the Christian concepts – but certainly not only limited to Christianity – of confession, a sense of forgiveness, a sense of renewal is a giant step away from passivity and towards self-assertion. Cleansing and redemption are never minor matters in the mind of man. They encompass the everyday as well as milestones of courage and change. They celebrate fresh perspectives and that man has some measure of control in at least the essential initial steps towards this end.

But what causes us to wake up and realize the need for change? We may find it the result of fatigue, boredom, a sense of guilt, disgust with ourselves, or divine intervention through the grace of God that leads us to see the need for change. When a political candidate comes to symbolize a sea-change in perception, it is not unusual for the candidate to receive enthusiastic support almost as a transcendental savior. Of course, from experience, we know our support is surely overblown, but the deep human affinity for fresh starts, new perspectives, and new beginnings destine us to irrational commitment. Power is called the ultimate aphrodisiac. The intrinsic mental rewards received from a sense of taking charge, of taking control, has profound implications in a wide spectrum of human activities.

Print Page

Cosmic Kinships

During the past several days I have watched episodes in the series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage with Carl Sagan as a contributing writer and as the sole presenter [Wikipedia article on the series]. I am enjoying the series tremendously and have great admiration for the brilliance and articulateness of Carl Sagan. As I watch the series I cannot help but feel that it is more than his brilliance that differentiates us. His sharp distinction between science and religion reflects a perspective that I simply do not share. Probably this has most to do with our diverse upbringings.

I grew up in a Christian home. My father was a Methodist minister. My mother was a homemaker and a devout Christian. My parents were humble in spirit. They were the least judgmental people I've ever known. Though they were religious, they were clearly not bigots. In all my years at home and in later years when I would return home for visits, I never heard either one of them say one bad word about science. In fact, like everyone else I knew, they embraced scientific developments and innovations. (Like other parents, they would have been proud to say their offspring excelled in science.) Whether it was radio, television, plastics, appliances of all sorts, automobiles, space exploration, or medicine; my parents welcomed them all. They were glad to see advancement of knowledge. In short, while being devoted Christians, they appreciated and used the works of science without one hint of any conflict between the two. My father preached about Jesus every week. But more importantly, he and mother lived their faith. It's fair to say that they respected science for its explorations of nature, while respecting the Bible for giving insight into human nature. The program Cosmos seems to pit good against evil—and it is clear that science is all good and religion is all evil. Science is staunchly insulated from the foibles of human nature. Religion is infested with them. This is an unfairness which would have shocked me had I heard it coming from my father in a reverse judgment upon science. It seems to me remarkable that professing disciples of enlightenment should so readily see themselves as beyond undesirable human prejudices and passions while finding those evils replete in religion. Would that human nature and the categories of experience were so tidily arranged. It is my view that religion and science can learn from one another in the pursuit of reality and excellence. Both religious and scientific abstractions point to facts. Both can help us appreciate the multifarious dimensions of experience – those that ground us and those that inspire.

Print Page

This Little Light of Mine

Young Woman with a Water Pitcher
Vermeer

What title would you give your "job" in God's kingdom? How did you find your line of work? (Serendipity Bible 10th anniversary edition, page 497).

Last Sunday morning in church Stacy sang a rousing rendition of "This Little Light of Mine." When I consider the question for today, I think of this song and how so many people really fundamentally share the same job in God's kingdom. We are to refract the light of God however imperfectly through human vessels. We are to hone our talents and to use them to the best of our ability. I would note that this approach takes us out of the business of judging others. We have not been placed here to hold court and dispose of others. We are here primarily to do our best and to concentrate on what contribution we can make. This I I think approaches the gist of what it means to be the salt of the earth and a light not hid under a bushel.

Print Page