The Ego I Yearn For

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:16-18 NIV).

In what ways do you identify, or not identify, with the… ego of the near-martyrs [found here in the book of Daniel]? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1226).

All my life I have suffered from a weak, intimidated ego. I have felt reluctant, even embarrassed, to assert myself. This has been the case not only in the company of those with power and authority over me—but even among casual strangers. I enviously reread the account of Shadrach’s, Meshach’s and Abednego’s gutsy, candid rebuke of powerful King Nebuchadnezzar. After throwing down the gauntlet under the King’s very nose, the three were subject to the readily predictable rage and retaliation of the powerful King.

Bottom line, in the last analysis the three were immune from intimidation not by the absence of fear of Nebuchadnezzar’s highly volatile ego and absolute power, but by their unwavering refusal to fear the ultimate threat of death's worst case. Death or violent physical harm is the old reliable persuader of last resort. It will always work in every case…so long as there is a strong fear of death. But have that thoroughly taken away, and the tables are turned—a whole new game now comes to town. We can see this new transformational reality played out in the lives of Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and others. Thus to effectively avoid all shades of intimidation, we must cut to the chase and bypass lesser fears and go after the final fear of death itself.

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Way Out There in the Blue

Daniel was given wisdom. Nebuchadnezzar had power. Who in your life or society claims to have wisdom or power? How to their claims compare to God’s gifts to us? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1223).

CHARLEY: Nobody dast blame this man. You don’t understand: Willy was a salesman. And for a salesman, there’s no rock bottom to the life. He don’t put a bolt to a nut, he don’t tell you the law or give you medicine. He’s a man way out there in the blue riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. And then you get yourself a couple spots on your hat and your finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream boy, it comes with the territory. (Death of a Salesman, Act 2).

Individual conscience is the wildcard at play in all of life. Self-respect in the end depends upon our willingness and ability to follow our conscience. And there is no guarantee that our best lights are true lights. We throw ourselves upon the mercy and grace of God to enable us to see clearly the will of God and to endeavor to do it. At the heart of a society therefore is instability based upon an unknown variable – the conscience of man. We often think of Sodom and Gomorrah as wildly undisciplined places while in fact everything there was no doubt done in good conscience – no matter how misguided. Mankind can readily justify anything.

American society can be seen as a battleground upon which the consciences of men struggle for expression and ascendancy. The Civil War was a painful example. Let us earnestly hope and pray that our best lights lend us courage to struggle for righteousness and that this sense of righteousness is aligned with divine purpose—the only guarantor of ultimate well-being and success.

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Pain – Theoretically Speaking

 

[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted

and binds up their wounds. (Psalms 147:3 NIV).

Today my friend Marvin Sweat (a 92 year old Methodist minister) and I had breakfast as usual on Saturday mornings at Kissin' Cuzzins. Like every Saturday, it was a love feast. Today I saw several people there from work, and Ronnie on her leaving came over to our table and hugged me. After breakfast Marvin and I left in my car. The tank was nearly empty, so we headed to Sam’s Club to get gas. I pulled kind of close to the pump so had to maneuver a bit to get out of the door. Somehow in the process I closed the car door on my thumb where metal meets metal. A sharp pain immediately followed. My thumbnail turned a dark blue, and it throbbed with pain.

Call me nuts but I think this incident—on the heels of a love feast imbued with its warm glow of endearment and laughter—came as a wakeup call to remind me that all in this world is not sweetness and light. Real, unadulterated pain exists both mentally and physically. I thought of the Boston bombings and all the pain that caused. It is my opinion that the bombers were high-flying young romantics who in their view saw only the grand, detached gesture—they completely discounted the real, prolonged, and intimately inflicted pain that would come days on end with torn tissue, ligaments, and shattered limbs. It is my firm belief that we should always consider the wide human vulnerability (which impacts each one of us) to indulge in unreality. How many times have I made some sweeping grand gesture that completely discounted the pain that would result? Perhaps it was a self-righteous vote I cast, or some oratorical flourish spat out, or an intentional turning away, or some set-in-my-ways opinion. My prayer tonight is that my throbbing thumb will insinuate itself into my long-term consciousness as a lasting reminder that bliss in this world is certain to be offset by pain—most especially when I would deny pain’s very existence.

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Negative Motivations

Would you bother to pick up a penny from the gutter? Three pennies? A nickel? Dollar bill? What amount is worth the effort? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1213).

Hope is a fundamental currency. It should not be surprising to find that those without hope are often those who show little effort. I know a young man encumbered with precisely such a situation. He was a crack baby and was born slow. He is now in his early 20s with no incentive whatever to work hard; for no matter how hard he works and what effort he expends, his return is certain to be no more than a pittance. Due to his mother’s behavior while he was in the womb, he is destined—even fated—to endure forever the dead hand of poverty. I cannot help but wonder how those who fancy themselves vastly superior and more industrious than my friend would feel under identical conditions. How much gung ho effort would they expend with no hope ever of more than poverty’s subsistence? Those rich in hope and dreams of escalating financial rewards are in no position whatever to judge those imprisoned below a lead ceiling.

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Match Made in Heaven

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor” (John 4:34-38 NIV).

I wear more bling around my neck than probably I should. But each of my three necklaces (stainless steel I assure you) has significance. One necklace is a gift from my wife (now deceased) and has on it a cross that came with the necklace. Additionally this chain now sports my wife’s wedding rings. The second was a gift from my mother-in-law. To this chain I have added an anchor upon which a crucifix is affixed. My son has an identical pendant about his neck. The third necklace has special meaning. It is in tribute to all those who are non-Christian but who because of their compassion and humility often out-Christian Christians. These are people that “are ripe for harvest.” They manifest Christ in all ways but name only. They often have been raised by kind and loving parents or undergone similar influences. “Others [that is] have done the hard work.” The structure of Christian faith is perfectly complementary to their meticulously crafted personalities and resolution only awaits an intimate pairing between them and Emmanuel.

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Filled with the Spirit

Are you “filled with the Spirit”? What does this mean? How does it happen? (Serendipity Bible 10th anniversary edition, page 1203).

God is love and Jesus taught that we are to love one another. Paul writes of the fruit of the Spirit. Love has intellectual, emotional, behavioral, and perceptual implications. In one sense being filled with the Spirit is commitment to a code of virtues and values of the Christian faith. But at the heart of the Spirit lies creativity that enables expression within new and unprecedented situations in which codes, virtues, and values must be applied by Spirit not by letter. Jesus taught that it is not enough to follow the “letter of the law” we must also live most importantly by the “spirit of the law” that embodies the disciplines of love and that testify to the presence of God in our lives.

Since we are not in control of perception, our being filled with the Spirit results from the grace of God. It is by grace that we are allowed to receive spiritual gifts – that we are inspired to live holy lives. However, as in all things perceptual, experience plays an important role. We can have been instructed in the faith and inspired by the Scriptures. We can have observed the witness of others authentically faithful in their thoughts, words, and deeds.

Faith in God, belief in Jesus, and the indwelling of the Spirit has its focus on divine and redemptive actions of love and service. We are in a fundamental sense instruments of peace – though often disruptive of the world’s wisdom and peace. Thus being filled with the spirit often can bring pronounced or subtle opposition, struggle, ridicule, and even persecution.

While being filled with the spirit requires the trust and faith of a child, the initiative comes from the Trinity. It is belief in a spiritual dimension which cannot be proven but that is accepted on faith – a faith based not upon intellectual assent alone, but upon anecdotal efficaciousness that profoundly rings true not only in the here and now but resonates in what can only be called an eternal spiritual reality.

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Symptoms of Death's Delusions

Has God raised you from “the dead”? When and how did it happen? (Serendipity Bible 10th Anniversary Edition, page 1203).

I don’t think that I have ever been “dead” or desperately lost. This is not to say that I have not been depressed from time to time when I have felt frustrated in accomplishing God’s will. There have been times of discouragement – even deep discouragement. Nevertheless, I suppose there is always a danger that I could lose faith and become “dead”. Following is a list of symptoms that would indicate that I am descending into a state of “death”.

The first indication of a loss of faith would be when I began to look upon Jesus as a fool – someone who could have had a good thing, but blew it – that he could have mastered life but for his silly notions. That is, when I no longer believe in him. Next, I would think and feel that there is no God – that there is no creator, that there is no interceder, that there is nothing good, nothing with special ethical value, nothing holy – that such notions are foolishness. The corollary to all this is that the only game in town revolves around me – my will, my wants, my needs.

Another indicator would be how I look upon three essential institutions of society – the family, the church, and government. I would look upon all these cynically. For example the government would have no divine purpose or role. It exits solely because of selfish interests and ego trips of power and prestige. The church deprived of any raison d’être would exist simply as a club of self-righteous bigots. The family also would have no divine purpose to nurture and cultivate love. It would merely be one expendable way that humans find to fulfill their selfish interest and procreate those of their breed.

As I would see Jesus as foolish, I would see my biological father as foolish for he strove to be a humble and good man. That he was faithful to my mother would show weakness. Likewise my mother would have been a fool for loving him and us children and working hard within a context of limited means.

I would make short shrift of the facts of any situation. My focus will always be on me. For example, if someone were scheduled to come to my home for an appliance repair, I would become highly incensed if they were a little late because it simply did not matter to me that the technician’s job was complex and sometimes required more time than expected. Because I am completely self-centered and everything revolves around me, not only do facts not matter, but I am highly inpatient and chronically angry and frustrated.

I never enter any negotiations unless I am a sure that I can come out the clear winner. “Compromise” is a euphemism for one-sided exploitation on my behalf. I am convinced that this is the essence of wisdom. My focus thus is always on how I can get mine now. I would see no logic to encouraging others to be their best. In fact, my modus operandi would be to intimidate, discourage, use, and disrespect others. If I cared anything at all for others, it would be because I envied them of their toys and power or prestige.

In short, with “death” would come a transformation of perception and resultant behavior. To say that my priorities would change would be an understatement. From this state, clearly I could not “save myself” but would be beyond saving if not for amazing grace.

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