Something Good is Afoot

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Some days I just feel like something good is happening.  I feel it in my bones.  I felt that way today.  I was certain that unbeknownst to me something was in the works to produce good.  I have called belief in God a good paranoia (even though I’m not one to think God is unreal), likewise this feeling is a feeling that someone somewhere is looking out for me—for us.  It is completely irrational and a feeling held without any evidence.  But it has the strength and certainty of a firmly held belief.  I like days like this and wish there could be more of them. They are energizing and make me feel good, positive, and generous.

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When Things Look Bleak

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Today Jeff and I were discussing several public issues that seemed to have no good solution.  The problems are, for now at least, intractable.  After getting home from work I learned that a friend of many years was back in the hospital.  The prognosis was not good.  Add to this a generally rainy and gloomy day and the bleak view of things being out of control and getting worse became paramount.  No light appeared at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes the most we can do is to accept the dreary state of affairs.  It would take a Pollyanna to find a silver lining and be upbeat.  The only decent thing to do is to stand quietly at the window and soak in the dreary scene.  Sometimes one must silently acknowledge the integrity and power of the dark.

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Holiday Restoration

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Today a friend came by to visit that I’ve known since the early 1980’s.  In that time we’ve come to know each other’s families.  We’ve come to know each other well, including many faults and shortcomings.  But the friendship persists and gets stronger as the years go by.  We had lunch, took some pictures, and went on the computer.  At suppertime we made smoothies with ingredients of peaches, grapes, and strawberry gelatin.  The main thing accomplished was to reaffirm our friendship and to feel good about each other and ourselves.  I read to him what I wrote a few days ago: “The truth is we need loyal friends who like us.  Beyond all our shortcomings and failures, they can see something good in us.  It may be a mystery what they see, but that doesn’t matter.  In fact a little mystery suggests we have some depth.  We are not simply straw men or paper cutouts.  The unanswered questions of affinity are the nicest thing about friendship—to like and be liked without knowing completely why.  It is the feeling that someone cares and is looking out for us.  It is the feeling of grace.”  Today we felt the graces of friendship in many ways undergirded by U.S. citizenship—

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

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Independence Day - But Not for All

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In Sunday school today our lesson was from John 14:2 “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  The lesson stated “We all need a place to call home.”  This being the 4^th, we tied into the study the celebration of America’s birthday—the land of the free, the home of the brave.  For many, home means a place of freedom—where you can feel comfortable being yourself.  But many in America aren’t free—they no longer feel at home in America where it counts the most—in their everyday lives.  There are all stages of ill health that can take away freedom.  Bryan, who lives in an assisted living facility because of his health, says he is terribly unhappy there.  I said, “yes, but you’re free to express what’s on your mind.”  He said that no he wasn’t, if he did that they would Baker Act him into a mental hospital—and he wasn’t joking.  He sees where he lives as a type of prison.  Besides those with ill health, others who don’t feel free are those who can’t find work, those who have been evicted from their homes because of foreclosure, those who are deeply in debt, those chronically unhappy at their jobs for whatever reason and are not free to find another, those facing law suites, those in federal, state, and local prisons.  There undoubtedly are many other reasons why people either are not free or don’t feel free.  Independence Day for them highlights their dependency even to feelings of servitude or imprisonment.  For these people hope rather than stark reality keeps them from despair.  Hope “is a chance that something desirable will happen or be possible” (Encarta Dictionary).  Somehow, someway, something will change.  Hope is like the resurrection plant:  “a species of desert plant in the spikemoss family…. [It] is noted for its ability to survive almost complete desiccation; during dry weather in its native habitat, its stems curl into a tight ball and uncurl when exposed to moisture.  [It has] the common name ‘rose of Jericho’” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selaginella_lepidophylla).

Somehow hope survives by viewing this as a dry spell that will not last.  Change and renewal are possible…. We will revive like the rose of Jericho.  Some feel this way, but some do not.  Some are in despair.

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If I Could Only Go Back and Get a Second Chance

In the corner of my office the wooden floor shows where termites have eaten.  Every time I notice this corner I am convicted of not being assiduous enough to eradicate termites when I plainly saw evidence of them—when termite wings lay on table tops and window sills.  Now I have an open wound that I must live with as testimony to my neglect, my bad decision to do nothing.  Now I keep my home under a termite protection guarantee.  But the damage has been done.  Nothing except replacing the floor could hide that.  And hiding it seems important because I am ashamed of what I did, or didn’t do.  I don’t want to be reminded of my failure, my neglect.  I don’t want to remember I played the fool, and was arrogant, assuming the rules of life simply did not apply in my case--I was exempt from bad outcomes despite bad decisions.  Somehow I would prove to be the exception, the wonder kid who would prevail based on my specialness and willpower.  The realities of life have a way of cutting our towering illusions off at the knees.  Sometimes the most we can do is face and admit our failures, and pledge, with the grace of God, to do better in the future.  The first challenge that we flubbed will never come again, but we can pray for additional meaningful challenges to prove our better nature.

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Lonely Rodney Dangerfield

Today for some of the time l felt like Rodney Dangerfield when he said “I get no respect. I played hide-and-seek, and they wouldn't even look for me" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Rodney_Dangerfield).  We see a kid excited, eager to play.  He rushes to hide in great anticipation of the search and eventual discovery.  Then the sad dénouement—no one cares to play with him and he stares wide-eyed and alone. 

Of course Rodney Dangerfield was a popular comedian because so many people could identify with this feeling—the feeling that we don’t matter much.  We’re tolerated and humored now and then, but everyone would rather be playing with someone else.  What is the antidote when we have such feelings?  When I had these feelings this afternoon, my phone rang.  It was a longtime acquaintance calling.  Right away I cheered up, then he told the reason for the call, he needed to borrow some money.  I was so grateful for the call, I said ok right away.  In a little while he called back to say that the loan was not necessary, he would make other arrangements.  Somehow I felt a little down from both calls—I was first needed for my money, then I wasn’t needed at all.

The truth is we need loyal friends who like us.  Beyond all our shortcomings and failures, they can see something good in us.  It may be a mystery what they see, but that doesn’t matter.  In fact a little mystery suggests we have some depth.  We are not simply straw men or paper cutouts.  The unanswered questions of affinity are the nicest thing about friendship—to like and be liked without knowing completely why.  It is the feeling that someone cares and is looking out for us.  It is the feeling of grace.
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The American Idea

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Today I learned that one of my co-workers may be leaving our department.  I will consider it a great loss if he goes.  He and I have had many heated political discussions.  But our relationship is strong, and we have great respect and love for each other.

This brings to mind a course I had in undergraduate school—it was called American Idea.  It was the class I enjoyed the most.  Of course I can’t remember much about the course—except one time I was giving a talk and said it was time to get down to brass tacks.  Coincidentally as I said the phrase, someone started hammering next door.  Everyone laughed.  Whatever I thought about the American Idea then, I definitely have an opinion now as to the most important aspect of the American Idea. There are many indispensible aspects—the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the system of government, the private sector, the drive for creativity and freedom with responsibility.  But I think the most definitive aspect is resilient goodwill.  Political and party divisions, philosophical and religious differences, education and income disparities do not destroy mutual respect and a sense of individual worth—a sense of basic equality.  There is an understanding that we are mortal and that unique experiences have helped mold us and our beliefs.  There is a willingness, based on goodwill, to assume that others are being guided by their best lights—as we are ourselves.  That often our best lights bring us to different conclusions.  To maintain individual integrity, we must agree to disagree.  Phony agreement that would entail one side of the issue betraying their true feelings and to “just pretend” is seen as more harmful than the sparks that fly from honest controversy.  I have a word for such solid goodwill and mutual respect--love.  I think the American Idea is founded most basically on the disciplines of empathy and love.  If I am right about this, I have great hope for a strong and vibrant America.  If I am wrong and mutual respect is merely a sham—a cover for overweening selfishness, then dissolution is inevitable. 

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